she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
