There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize