i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
