She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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