i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
