So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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