i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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