when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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