We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
