dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
