Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
