just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize