I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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