do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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