And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
