she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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