We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
