Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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