Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
