I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
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peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
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I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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