Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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