If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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