Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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