Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
