Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
