I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
