he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just pee around me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize