Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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