I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
