well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
