My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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