do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
