Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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