I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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