This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize