i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize