My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
farters have to be the big spoon...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
