i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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