Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
