our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So gin and wine won't be happening again
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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