Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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