well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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