can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
