The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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