also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.