About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on