Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?