Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT