is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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