We named our party play list daddy issues
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
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Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
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Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom