Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
