What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize