would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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