How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize