Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize