jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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