So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize