is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
