its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
God I need to hump something, right now.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
