I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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