OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Liz is crying about burritos again.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
