I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
