i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
